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Tainted

by Atalanta

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1.
What will our friends think of this? I couldn't care any less. They'll stop contradicting (themselves) and get over it. This bit of struggle will be worth it. So fucking worth it. You always say, "Don't hate me" before you hurt me. These showers were the first to make me clean. Did we share too much? Grab on. Take hold. I won't let go. I could never let go.
2.
I can't let you know how much I hate them. I can't let you know how much I hate myself too. I'll grab my keys to my old box on my top shelf. There's too much pressure. I must be done. I'll relieve pressure with a loaded gun. I relieved pressure with a loaded gun.
3.
Hold 01:48
Dead friends, and lost friendships. Each scar that you show me just proves I'm insensitive. How could I possibly soak-in a person so big while I have diminished. I am finished. Oh I am finished. The dust I crushed you into was so sour I could taste it. Your expression said more than any book I've never read. The words I spend hours on can't touch anything you've said. For being darling, I am so very mean. I wake up and roll over to tell you these things. You've vanished. A phantom person. I heard you roll over, but it was the wind on the curtains. Take hold, we wont let go.
4.
Thrones 02:36
You perfectly perched your head upon your knuckles; and I felt my clench. Your fixation on your conversation (brings out an aggression I didn't know existed). My heart wants to wipe that look off your fucking face. Wipe that look off your fucking face. My brain is revolted by this jealousy. You...creep. You fucking creep. The thought of you waltzing in makes me shake in my fucking sleep.
5.
This constant desertion makes me insane. Maybe you'd answer if I changed my name? These trembling hands. Our broken plans. My dead-end. When your friends come home they'll just hurt you again. Please just see how much this hurts me. Why are you so scared when I'm confronting? I find your lack of response concerning, Excuses unnerving, Due to this trend I must be deserving. I find your lack.....
6.
And being so close to someone can only make the distance feel larger. My failure to separate physical and spiritual gaps has cast me in to a lonely spiral, creating new, open, empty wounds that only laugh at me in the face. I address these wounds by ignoring them, causing me to ignore you. You're something I can't ignore. This is something I can't let die down, and shrivel up, because I would die with it. I must learn how to sleep alone at night. I must learn how to be by myself. I must learn to deal with the haunting loneliness that could kill your love. I must conquer and assimilate my biggest enemy; myself.

credits

released May 27, 2013

Recorded and mixed by Dylan Piskula at Wall2Wall studios in April 2013. Mastered by Mikey Crotty at Gnarnia.

Brian Weza- bass
Brennan Zwieg-drums
Christian Mundloch- guitar and vocals

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Atalanta Chicago, Illinois

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